Caffeine, Sugar and Chandeliers

Once upon a time there was a pastor
who invited his congregation
to join him on a caffeine and sugar fast.
4 days into the fast a
usually-normal-mother
was jolted by the sounds of
WAR in the living room.
Two small boys with two swords,
one antique crystal chandelier.
CRASSSSSHHHHH!!!
Two sheepish boys,
one mortally wounded chandelier.
NO ONE was to blame.
It was mere chance that
the poor chandelier fell victim
as an innocent bystander.
It just happened to be in the
wrong place at the wrong time.
So said the boys anyway.
All this, with straight faces
to the mom with
NO CAFFEINE OR SUGAR IN HER SYSTEM.
Entire countries have been
invaded for less provocation.
Seriously.
Please, pause to wipe your tears of empathy
least they drip down
and ruin your keyboard.
I’ve always wondered how desperate
someone had to be to drink
rubbing alcohol.
Now
I
know.
I love my kids.
I love my pastor.
I love Monday.
Because on Monday,
I’m going to eat
chocolate covered coffee beans
ALL DAY LONG.

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