My darling Babycakes thinks he’s been struck a fatal blow.
His beautiful eyes are gummy with film,
blurring his vision.
blurring his vision.
His baby
lungs are full of congestion, producing a cough that sounds
lungs are full of congestion, producing a cough that sounds
like a freight train
underwater .
underwater .
His temples are
pounding, making it painful to think.
pounding, making it painful to think.
And to top it all of, his nose is no longer his happy little friend,
bringing in sweet air to breathe,
NO, it has gone berserk and has decided
it wants to play Niagara Falls.
His heretofore fairly happy
existence has come to a
existence has come to a
shuddering, hacking, pounding, mucus bubble blowing
halt.
halt.
He is the very picture of misery, with no comfort to be
found.
found.
His sense of taste is gone,
reducing the taste of his favorite foods to that of
mud, tree bark and
gravel.
gravel.
The very sound of my voice seems to grate on his frayed nerves.
To him, life is completely stripped of comforts.
He is in pain, and feels abandoned by the things
that once brought happiness.
To a toddler, this can only mean ONE thing;
life is over.
He knows what he feels; life has lost all hope of
happiness.
happiness.
I know the truth; this
is temporary.
is temporary.
Have you ever been here?
Walking along doing fine then
BAAAAAAM out of nowhere you
are left
are left
shaking, woozy and weak, looking around dazed,
trying to identify the
thing that
thing that
smacked you right off your happy horse.
It sounds like this
“The baby didn’t make it.”
“Dad had a heart attack.”
“Your sister has been in a wreck.”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“Your job is being out sourced.”
“The test came back positive for ….”
“Mom, I’ve decided to ….”
Your eyes grow weep weary,
and the voices of your friends grate on
your raw nerves.
your raw nerves.
It feels like the people who once brought you comfort
are now an irritant.
Food tastes like
mud in your mouth,
mud in your mouth,
and you just want to crawl into a hole.
And never come out.
And you feel like it will be this way
forever.
forever.
Take heart my friend.
Weeping may endure for a long, brutally dark night,
but joy will come
again.
again.
Like the sun that gently
separates the
separates the
pitch black darkness of the night sky,
you will find joy will
gently separate
gently separate
the fibers of your sorrow,
your pain, your anguish,
and you
will walk again
will walk again
in the sunshine of joy.
Don’t measure your night by how you feel.
Measure it by truth.
Do you know what being wrong feels like?
It feels EXCTLY like being right.
Please know that regardless of how you feel right now,
your Father has it in control.
He saw this coming,
a loooooong way back down the road.
And he has already prepared a way through it.
He is holding you in the palm of His hand.
You are not alone.
The darkness wont last forever.
It’s going to be all right.
Here, just for you, a song of hope.
It
IS
going to be
all right.
IS
going to be
all right.
The Lord has also been reminding me of that very same Scripture lately… joy comes in the morning. I love the fact that the morning was the first thing God created, when He spoke light into darkness. I believe God gave us the night for weeping, that tears are ok, that it's even ok to ask God why… because Jesus Himself did. He wept, and one of the last things He said as a human was "Why has Thou forsaken me?". But on that third morning, He arose! Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts today, Rachel. I enjoy your blog!
Thank you sweet Jennifer.